Grieving the Child I Thought I Would Have

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As I was entering motherhood there were things that were not told to me. How would I function on a few hours of sleep, how do I know the baby had enough to eat, how huge a poop can be, etc. One thing I was not told was what to do if the pregnancy didn’t go as I hoped. This is where grieving came into place.

Yes of course people lose children and they grieve. But as a special needs mom I grieved the child I thought I was going to have. It is completely normal to do so and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Every time I went to my OB I would get bad news after bad news and there was always something to grieve. I didn’t know what to expect. Will my child talk? Will my child walk? There were so many what ifs and I grieved. I felt so alone. I felt like my life was falling apart.

Now looking back, I am surprised about how I got through it. I never knew I could be so strong. But I have to be. I need to be there to raise Lexi, be advocate, be her best friend, etc.

I experienced three stages of grief and I would like to share them with you. I’m sure many of you have read a few posts close to mine but writing this gives me some peace.

1. Anger. I was angry at everyone. Myself mostly. I felt that my body let me down. That I was the one that caused this.

2. Scared. The unknown scared me and it still does. There are many question marks that come with Lexi’s diagnosis. How was I to prepare? Would she walk? Would she talk? All of this really can weigh you down.

3. Acceptance. This happened when she was born. It was hard to accept her diagnosis. There are times that I still struggle, but I have accepted that life will be different. Lexi is a sweet, funny, happy little baby and I wouldn’t trade her sweet little self for anything.

It has been a long process, but I am so grateful for her and our family. I hope this post helps any other moms out there that may be struggling with a similar situation.

 

Photo by: Hannah Decossas Photography

5 Pregnancy Tips I Wish Someone Had Told Me

Being pregnant, especially for the first time can be scary and so exciting all in one. It is such a surreal experience. You are gaining weight, your hormones are all over the place, and knowing you are growing a little human inside of you can be nerve wracking. When expecting for the first time you do get a lot of tips and advice. Here are some tips that I wish I knew when I was pregnant with Lexi.

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1. Don’t Google everything. When I was pregnant I would google every symptom and I would end up scared out of my mind. If you need to know something just call your OB.

2. Take a Nap. You need your rest. Being pregnant takes a lot out of you. It is important to get rest. Besides, after you give birth naps become scarce.

3. Take pictures. It is no secret that I had a rough pregnancy so I didn’t take many pictures. I wish I have. I wish I could look back at more than just my maternity shoot and have more to show Lexi.

4. Don’t listen to everyone. You all know who I am referring to. Family, friends, and even people you don’t know. They all want to tell you about their experience. This is your experience. Just smile politely when they tell you their story.

5. Embrace your pregnancy. It goes by fast. It really does. You may not think that now, but when your baby is born you will think “wow it went by quick”.

Do any of you have any tips that you want to add?

 

Photo by: Hannah Decossas Photography

Mother’s Day Gift Guide

Happy Tuesday lovelies!
Mother’s Day is about a month away and I am so excited about it! It is my first Mother’s Day as a mom and I can’t wait to spend the day with Lexi and the hubby. I absolutely love the Spring minus all of the pollen/allergies.
Below are some items that I think would make great gifts for all of us mommas out there.

 

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Dior Perfume | Olivia Burton Watch | Tory Burch WalletBaubleBar Aimee Y-Choker | Monica Vinader Riva Circle Stud Diamond Earrings | L’Occitane Almond Shower Oil

Transition to the Crib

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As a first time mom I can’t describe how hard it was to move Lexi from her bassinet to her crib in her own room. I do have to state that her room is all the way across the house. I also have to tell you that Lexi did better than I did. I was so sad to not have her in our room, but it was time for her to move out.

Below are three tips that made this transition easy on Lexi:

  1. Hang out in her room for a bit. Make her feel like you are there. I can’t begin to tell you all how much this helped Lexi. I only did it for almost two weeks and thankful that this helped so quickly.
  2. Do the switch in stages. I started off having her nap in there and then moved her in her room for bedtime.
  3. Create a routine. I always have some bonding time with Lexi in my room and then we go to her room for story time before I put her down for the night.

 

These three things really helped her transition and I hope they can help you mommas as well.

 

Photo by: Hannah Decossas Photography

Cozy Mom On The Go Look

I really love dressing up. Sometimes between the blog, Lexi’s appointments, and taking care of a home in general you just need a cozy on the go outfit. Of course I still try to look presentable and I always accomplish that because as a mom I feel if I am leaving the house it is an opportunity to look cute since I am in “mom clothes” at home.

I feel that this outfit is nice and cozy to run errands in with the baby. Leggings and this pullover are usually my go-to items. I absolutely love dressing up, but it is not necessarily  what I wear on the daily.

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Pullover: Prowse on Main | Leggings: Nordstrom Rack | Shoes: Adidas | Bag: Louis Vuitton | Sunglass: Rayban

 

5 Home Dates For New Parents

Before becoming a new parent my husband and I would have date night at least one night a week. Now that a new baby is in the mix a date may be harder to schedule and to be honest we don’t want to go anywhere without our little one. I am sure many of you moms can relate to this. With that being said my husband and I have come up with home date nights. Today, I am sharing 5 at home date ideas that you may love.

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Cook together: To me this one is a given. My husband loves to cook and me not so much, but it is fun when we do it together.

Movie Night: We both like pretty much the same kind of movies so this works well for us.

Binge Watch a Show: Definitely one of our favorite things to do. Netflix and Hulu are our best friends.

Bake: We love to bake cookies and muffins. We especially love to do this late at night and enjoy them with a nice glass of milk.

Play Cards: We haven’t done this one yet, but we do want to learn to play more games so we definitely will be doing this soon.

If you have anymore ideas to suggest please do!

 

 

10 Mom Truths

Being a mom is the best thing ever! I absolutely love it. I do have to admit that I have done things I said I never would do and haven’t done things I said that I would do. So much changes when becoming a mom. I never knew how different things would be, so I wanted to share 10 things that I have come to find that are differently true.

Can any of you relate to these?

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You will Google just about everything and yes you will freak out.

You will feel a love like no other.

Your baby’s touch will melt your heart.

You will ask the pediatrician a million questions.

You will wonder if what they do is “normal”.

Finding time for yourself will become harder.

You will understand why your friends with kids would bail on you.

You are no longer grossed out by boogers or poop.

You will be EMOTIONAL about the little things.

The house will always be cluttered with toys.